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A book for every year of motherhood
My daughter turned nine a couple of days ago, and as I wrote in my last newsletter, I had feelings about it.
Shall I tell you what did not help with those feelings? Sorting through her old books to put together a pile to hand down to her cousins. I cried, multiple times. At one point I sat on the floor in the middle of all the chaos, dramatically clutching a picture book to my heart and sobbing to my husband “I’m just not ready to let go yet”. Luckily he’s just as sentimental as I am: when our daughter told him she no longer wanted to keep her Violet Mackerel books he looked physically ill (needless to say they remain on the shelf).
Heartbreaking though the exercise was, it did make me realise how intimately my experience of motherhood - particularly during the first six years of my daughter’s life, when she couldn’t read independently - has been tied to the books we’ve shared.
It would be impossible to pick just one favourite or most important book for each year, so I’m not even going to try. Many of these books were read repeatedly over a number of years, not just one. But all of the books below hold a very special place in my heart.
The first year: The Complete Nonsense of Edward Lear
When F was a baby, she was on us all the time. We barely used the buggy; instead, when we went out, I would wear her in a sling. And when she became tired or grumpy, I would recite poetry to her to soothe her. Edward Lear’s poems were her favourite, especially The Quanglewangle’s Hat, The Owl and the Pussycat, and The Jumblies).
Age one: Tiddler
This came out when Frida was one, and it was a huge hit throughout her toddler years. She loved most of the Julia Donaldson books, but I have such strong memories of her joining in with this one: “Diddler YATE!”
Age two: Out and About
It’s hard to overstate the importance Shirley Hughes’ books had on my early years of motherhood. There were periods when we read her books multiple times a day, every day, and her illustrations and words will always live somewhere deep inside me. This is the book I always gift to friends when they become parents for the first time - it breaks my heart completely that my daughter is now much too old for it!
Age three: When We Were Very Young
And also Now We Are Six. Similar to the Shirley Hughes books, these two volumes of A. A. Milne’s poetry were the soundtrack to the early years in our home. I read them over and over again (I can still remember most of the poems by heart), and we also had them on audiobook. Favourites poems included Forgiven, Lines and Squares, and The King’s Breakfast, but really all of them were magical.
Age four: The Great Big Treasury of Beatrix Potter
I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve read Beatrix Potter stories over the years, and I have so many sweet memories linked to them. This treasury (there are lots of used copies for sale if you’re tempted) was fantastic, as the stories F enjoyed changed as she got older. Tom Kitten was always a favourite character though, whether he was losing his clothes or getting rolled into a roly-poly pudding by Samuel Whiskers…
Age five: Heartwood Hotel series
This was the sweetest series of books, and one of the first ‘proper’ chapter books I read my daughter. There was a little peril and some darker themes, but a huge amount of cuteness to balance it out from Mona the mouse and the staff and customers of the Heartwood Hotel. I was so pleased to have these books during some of the grimmer points of the Covid lockdowns!
Age six: Frog and Toad Complete Collection
All the books I’ve picked on this list are books I’ve read aloud, but this one has a very special place in our family history as it was the first ‘big’ book F read aloud herself. She set herself the goal of finishing it before she turned six, reading us a story or so a night, and she finished it the day before her birthday. From that point, her reading suddenly soared, and this book was the turning point from ‘I can read’ to ‘I’m a reader’.
Age seven: The Odyssey
F has always loved anything to do with Greek myth, and when she was seven I thought I’d have a go at reading her Emily Wilson’s (brilliant, accessible) translation. She surprised me by how into it she was - sticking with the challenging language and sometimes gruesome stories - and we both got so much out of it. It really helped her tie lots of the other myths and monster’s we’d learned about together, too.
Age eight: Magnus Chase trilogy
Last year we studied Norse mythology for history, and I read her the Magnus Chase trilogy. We were hooked from the start (and this kicked off a huge Rick Riordan binge for both of us - F read the books, I read alongside her on my kindle, and we chatted about the stories). I loved everything about this trilogy, and I’ll always remember sharing them with her.
And now my baby is suddenly, incomprehensibly, nine. I read out loud to her less than I did, but books are as important as ever in her life, with bookshelves fit to bursting in her room and piles of books teetering on her bedside table.
Long may it continue.
Which books have shaped your parenting?
One of my favourite things to talk about is children’s books - old ones, new ones, excellent ones I’d do anything to read once more, and the dreadful ones which I’ve been happy to see the back of.
I’d love it if you shared some of your favourites in the comments!
thank you so much for sharing these, i ordered half of them immediately!!! one of the biggest sad-fears i have of my kids growing up is losing this special reading in bed time together. ahhh. <3
I completely share your sentiment about the importance of Shirley Hughes’ books, I cannot bear to give any of them away! We love the stories and the beautiful illustrations and Out and About is a favourite, as well as Dogger of course. My children (now 9 and 11) still find them soothing. We had a wonderful experience on a train once when I was reading “Bonting” aloud - from the Big Alfie Outdoors book, the woman opposite us told me her grown up daughter’s own Bonting still lives in her bedroom. The power of connection through books ☺️