Bones

Reflections on nine years of motherhood

Small Places is a newsletter and podcast which talks about parenting, education, and children’s rights.

This post is for paid subscribers only. By going paid, not only do you get to enjoy exclusive posts and access the full archive, but you can feel good knowing that you’re supporting independent writing on children’s rights. Every subscriber makes a difference and I am so grateful for your support.

---

My daughter turns nine tomorrow.

We are well and truly out of the ‘early years’. I no longer tell people I have a young child.

Tomorrow she will be halfway to legal adulthood, and when I turn 36 next month, she will be a quarter of the way to my age. I know every parent talks about how fast it goes, but WTF! I can remember being nine so clearly, and terrifyingly it doesn’t feel that long ago.

I’ve been most surprised by how sad and tender I’ve felt in the run-up to this birthday. Not only sad, of course - I’ve also felt deep delight and wonder, and absolute unshakable gratitude that I’ve had nine years with this effervescent golden girl. But still, a lingering feeling that things are shifting, that we are on the edge of something new.

Maybe this isn’t so surprising. The Steiner Waldorf philosophy remarks on the phenomenon of the ‘nine year change’, when children transition out of early childhood. As you know, I’m not usually big on ‘ages and stages’ theories, but there’s something soothing in recognising that I’m not alone in feeling something change.

I process things best when I talk about them, but it’s late and I’ve just finished baking her cake (lemon, always, still) and I feel too tired to talk much. So I’m bringing my thoughts to you instead. In no particular order, here are some reflections on nine years of motherhood.

Yes, this is a soppy post.

This post is deeply personal, so if you’re on the free list I’m afraid this is where you’ll leave us. But look out for a post called ‘motherhood in nine books’ in your inbox this weekend which I hope you’ll enjoy!